Monday, April 27, 2009


Fact: I am a complete hypocrite. I have been working in the dental world for about nine months now. Everyday I sit on my high assistant chair and literally look down upon our patients and judge anyone who comes in to get work. Some days I judge harsher than others. "Eww, four fillings? Is she homeless?" "Oh, really you hate coming to the dentist office? Haven't heard that before." Occasionally there are days where I am put in charge of the cleanings of young ones under the age of twelve. Also occasionally one of my little patients will get a last lecture about the importance of oral hygiene. This all changed when I, finally after almost a year of working at Highland Park Dental, had my first hygiene appointment. Kind of my first hygiene appointment in about four years. After I got scheduled for two 1 hour appointments, because my teeth were so dirty the normal 1 hour appointment was not long enough, the dentist/my boss gave me terrible news. I have eleven cavities. 11. I am humiliated. It was all I could do to come into work the next day. So while my experience here at the dental office may have taught me just how exactly a root canal is performed I guess I missed the very basic lesson on brushing and flossing my teeth. Obviously I have to assume this is karma.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

My Sundown

Early morning work day means early afternoon off. Very nice day out; sunny and bright. I want to enjoy the warm weather, but do something worthwhile.
Goal: Put on sun dress and dance/walk the mile and half to the grocery store.
Result: Put on sun dress and dance/walk the mile and half to the grocery store.

Goal: Pick up some necessities, mind my own business, and walk/dance my way home.
Result: Walk around grocery store, pick up cough drops and chili cheese Frito's. While minding my own business be approached by creepiest man/child alive (actually only calling this guy creepy is like saying Kim Jong-Il is just a little misunderstood). Creepy man/child is wearing skinny jeans in my dream target weight size, a keffiyeh, a bright colored shirt, and has dyed black, hot ironed straightened hair. He followed me around the grocery store for several aisles before he approaches me. He wastes my time for about ten minutes. I somehow find out he's in a transition from an Ecstasy induced lifestyle into a drug free one, no I did not ask, he told me. Does this dude not understand that I am not interested in talking and all I want to do is compare the size of two green onion cheese balls?

Overall Goal: Get home safely.
Overall Result: Somehow gave grocery store stalker my real number. Good move, Emily. Good move.

I would just like to put it out into the universe that if you are currently rehabbing, on parole, or jonesing for any illegal substance then steer clear of this little girl.